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our exist ence is like a peace of


pine tree for me
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[Monday the 29th
i am sick of:

b)constant hunger
c)my mother having aids
d) my father's patheticism & chicken faced uselessness
e)my fat fucking ass
f) bad luck always/ bad karma
g) sinister sobriety

0 + bat gum + +

[Wednesday the 24th
well i am going backk to paris to study film at the sorbonne & art at the museum of decorative arts. i lived in new york for 2 months. i lost 15 pounds. i hate my father intensely. i like graison immensely.

to do:
-get a job
0 + bat gum + +

[Tuesday the 25th
i met terry richardson.
0 + bat gum + +

[Sunday the 26th
tomorrow i am officially moving to NYC- permanently-
4 + bat gum + +

[Thursday the 12th
oh god i know nothing & i haven't a clue what to do or where to go

sweet sweet youth of mine
1 + bat gum + +

[Thursday the 5th
january 22: dw griffith, jim jarmusch, sir francis bacon, malcom mclaren

february 22: luis bunel, steve irwin, drew barrymore, george washington

march 22: van dyck, chico marx, wolf blitzer, reese witherspoon

april 22: kant, vladimir lenin, vladimir nabokov, yehudi menuhin, charles mingus, bettie page, jack nicholson, john waters ( death day of nixon)

may 22: mary cassatt, conan doyle, morrissey, naomi campbell

june 22: billy wilder, bill blass, meryl streep ( death day of nixon's wife + judy garland & fred astaire)

july 22: oscar de la renta, rose fitzgerald kennedy, louise flectcher (nurse ratched!), willem dafoe, prince felix of denmark, rufus wainwright

august 22: leni riefenstahl, tori amos

september 22: erich von stroheim, anna karina

october 22: joan fontaine, timothy leary, george brassens, catherine deneuve, jeff goldblum ( death day of pretty boy floyd)

december 22: pierre brasseur, vanessa paradis ( death day of zanuck, george eliot, samule beckett & joe strummer)
0 + bat gum + +

[Tuesday the 26th
Dear George,
It makes me smile to think
of the rain outside
because you might be caught in it
and drenched to your bones
like a tramp dog
when you come home tonight
you’ll wrinkle your nose
at me
and I won’t care
because the doctor said
you might get pneumonia
0 + bat gum + +

[Friday the 29th
donc en gros la vie est pas mal. che pas. tout le bazard avec les universites c'est merveilleusement resolu. j'ai pas d'herbe a fumer n'empeche. mes ambitions se sont redoublees. tout est un peu etrange. cet ete est finalement clair. ma memoire n'est plus brouillee. mon pere est encore la. on s'entends ok plus ou moin. sa mentalite me tue.
mais chepa. le buisness avec hawk n'est plus un reve pour moi. ce qui c'est passe c'est passe et che sera sera. point. les coincidence n'existe plus. certain appele ca dieux. moi personellement,

je n'ai jamais aime denome les choses.

l'annee prochaine j'aurais un endroit que a moi, des choses que a moi et une vie que a moi. et donc la liberte sera la mienne. et tout ira comme la destinee aura voulu.

PS: dave a dit qu'il veut me mettre dans son prochain livre, et qu'avant de le publie il me demandera de signer les " repro rights". hahahha. j'ai toujours ete sure qu'il y avait du genie quelquepart.
1 + bat gum + +

it's break. [Monday the 18th
"Who are these people? Seriously, who actually sits down after a long day at work and says, I'm not going to watch Lost tonight. I'm going to turn on my computer and make a movie starring my pet iguana? I'm going to mash up 50 Cent's vocals with Queen's instrumentals? I'm going to blog about my state of mind or the state of the nation or the steak-frites at the new bistro down the street? Who has that time and that energy and that passion?

The answer is, you do. And for seizing the reins of the global media, for founding and framing the new digital democracy, for working for nothing and beating the pros at their own game, TIME's Person of the Year for 2006 is you." -TIME

PS: yesterday i realized i was in the Cosmos.
0 + bat gum + +

[Thursday the 23rd
this whole break has been hysterical. today i threw up once in a plastic bag in a library. i carried the bag out and threw it a trashcan. then i was having lunch with a friend. i said i was going out for a smoke momentarily, but really i ran to an alley and puked there too.
this is what i hate about losing a habit.

my grandmother pissed herself on the dining room chair yesterday. this family gathering is a fucking joke.

note: last time i saw a huge black dog and today i saw a wolf, on a leash. foreshadowing. i'm gonna get hit by a car.
4 + bat gum + +

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